Ordinary Girl with an Ordinary Blog

Many Many years ago, in a land far far away, there lived a little girl named Gemma Jane. She was a princess and was surrounded by riches and silks. She was so happy till one day, the evil King came back to her kingdom and took everything away. Her pets, her toys and worst of all her camera. The evil king then moved her far far away where she could never be happy. He kept her as his slave and treated her badly. But she never stopped dreaming. Dreaming of a kingdom where she could be happy and have all the things she truly loved back in her life. When she was old enough, she fled the kingdom and found a nice little cottage far away from her past life. She built it up and bought fixtures for it till it felt cosy and like her little home far away. She then adopted two cats and named them Loki and Neo who she loved dearly. She bought a camera and she collected lego and games. She was once happy again. And now she’s just waiting for her happily ever after…but it will come one day…

The street she once lived on…

So recently things haven’t been so great for me. I have been scraping through and I have come out with a smile. Things are not sorted yet but I can finally see the bright light at the end of the tunnel. I have great friends I have realised over the last few weeks. Some who kick you up the butt when you are talking bullshit (you know who you are) and some who just pick you up when you are down (you know who you are too). I have plans, some long winded and will take some work and some I just need to instantly sort but hell its a Sunday! As I type I am awaiting my takeaway which I think I deserve after this long weekend and I have a nice bottle of wine chilling in the fridge. Double that with a chick flick and I am going to be a very happy Gemmie. Snuggle with my babes Loki & Neo and I wont be able to complain any more. I am getting back into photography and also looking back at what I can edit from the past.  So expect spam :D Looking for a new job and a new outlook on life. If anyone can provide the answers to the last request, then do so promptly :D But for now…its getting better. I am getting better and I feel as happiest as I can be in my situation. So on that note, I will leave you and I also a big thank you for reading my blog :D xxx

I dont think I have ever really been laid out with my heart visual with someone pumping it to keep me alive before. Now I am exaggerating intensely but this is how I feel today. 

When I look back and see myself 5 years ago, I expected to be someone focussed, ambitious, successful and happy. I am none of these now. Turning 27 in October I feel there must be more to live than living in a horrible house in an area I despise. In a job that is not making any money they have forced me part time. With no money to start again. Maybe I am too lazy, maybe I am just making too many mistakes but I am torn between packing up and starting again (done this a few too many times in life and it always seems to be when shit gets hard, I pack up and leave). Or grit my teeth and try to do something which changes life here right now. But what? I cant find another job. I cant afford to move. And I am trying with other things. 

I think it calls for change. I have changed my hair, my clothes, losing weight, being social again. Its not working. They promised a new pair of shoes would make my life better…Retail Therapy is A LIE!

I need to grow up and face the heat. Change needs to happen. I need to rant more. I need to stop being pushed back by people who don’t want change.  I need to be strong and willing to give as much as I can.

My goal: By the time I reach 30, I want to look back at these posts and laugh about my life lessons and where I am then :D I want to be happy and fulfilled. I want to be me. The person who I used to be and who is in fact still sitting inside DYING to get out…

P.S Sorry for rant :/